THE LOVE THAT LEFT
Once I had a lover who had a lover, it was sin nurtured from passion(for me)and orgasms(for him), passion was all that existed between us. before then I always thought how possible it was for a man to feel this way for more than one woman, and he showed me how. then I wanted to know who she was, wanted her to know my name ,and look me in the eyes while I did to him all the things that would kill a woman if she knew…….
I dreamt of her , laughing with me or at me*and looking at me so intently, I thought in real life she knew who I was, and knows what I had done, I couldn't hide from her anymore, she’s was watching me. she knew my next positions.
I thought about her a lot , how she smells, rides, moans and loves him. she loves him more than I could bear, but I believed I knew him more and loved him the way he wanted to be loved…*sigh* but it didn't matter at the end, when did knowing a person so well become unmatched. putting these emotions right now in words does not quantify what I thought we had, we were everything you want to have. she was everything I aspired to be, if I was a man I would choose her too.
I was “the” one and she the “only”. he never made me feel like he had another, another that I know, another I have met in my dreams and kept secret of. not knowing her name; I still don't know her name.
I wish I hated her though, I wish she would fall off a building and …maybe fly into the air soaring high above me with my lover on her back. I loved her through him and for her, I knew in the end it will end in premium tears and I would be a memory and she his reality , I do find it an honor to have shared such a man with her(lame)even if I tried I couldn’t dare keep him for myself ,I didn’t have that power, she hasn’t given me that power, and she never will.
She created an abode for them and took him without warning or goodbye, I thought I had earned or deserved that much. and just like that I lost them both. no matter how much I prepared for this I still would never be ready to loose him, I don't think I ever will. now I just watch from miles on a different time zone ,waiting for “the one” to make me his only.
I loved everything. I regret nothing.
